Don't go - doesn't exist for me
I’ve always had a fighting spirit, but what really helped me to restart my life in a wheelchair was sports! I love being in sports halls. I like their smell, their noise … and I really miss them a lot, when I'm prevented from training there.
The only sensation I experienced from my body during that time was pain, just pain. I never had had such a pain in my life before, even not after all the hard training camps I had participated in all the years before. This time the pain was different and I wanted to challenge it, to find out what I could do against it. Very often I was training alone, in a dark corner where nobody could see me, trying things out and sometimes I even had to lie a little bit, when my treating doctor asked me about how I got all these blues and hematoma on my body... Probably not all exercises were the best choice for treating and healing my body – but yes, the best for my soul! Because this soul wanted to be treated as well!
I realized that my rehabilitation and my way back to normality would be different to most others. But I did not let myself be irritated and continued pursuing my path. I struggled many times and I still do sometimes. I have learned to accept my limitations but I also to push a bit further!
It’s been a long way back to work, back to living alone in my apartment, being autonomous again. Sometimes it was tough and challenging, sometimes easier with new interesting experiences, sometimes just boring. But isn’t that life? Isn’t that normal? What is normal? Everything that seemed to be normal in my life wasn’t normal anymore after this accident. But now, exactly fourteen years later, my daily life is normal and everything that was before the accident, was different. I’ve got other skills, other optics and I’ve learned to accept the situation. Wow, I have had the chance to get some kind of additional experience! Not too bad! But sometimes, situations turn to unlucky happenings and I get angry or even sad. I will tell you about that tomorrow.